News Thats Used

Monday September 15, 2003

After eating an English missionary in 1867, contrite villagers in Fiji are now eating humble pie and want to say they are sorry. Reverend Thomas Baker, from Playden, East Sussex, was cooked and eaten by the people of the remote mountain village of Navatusila.

The only thing left of Mr. Baker, a clergyman with the Wesleyan Methodist Church, were his leather boots, and they even attempted to chew ...

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A one ounce milk chocolate bar has 6 mg of caffeine.

Buttermilk does not contain any butter.

Each year there are more than 40,000 toilet related injuries in the United States.

Quips

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?".
Come early and listen to the choir practice.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Thursday night is Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

Filed Under: Church Notices

The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Fun Book Titles

Falling from a Window
- by Eileen Dowt

Apologizing Made Simple
- by Thayer Thorry

How to Feed Elephants
- by P. Nutts

All Aboard!
- by Abel Seamann

My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
- by I. M. Nutty

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Good Question

If CON is the opposite of PRO, is congress the opposite of progress?

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

When a doctor doctors a doctor does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored, or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

Aurora Ski Club of Red Wing, Minnesota became the 1st United States Ski Club.

Tuesday February 8, 1887

Filed Under: → Sports

John Ames Sherman of Massachusetts, United States, patents the 1st envelope folding and gumming machine.

Tuesday February 8, 1898

Filed Under: → Business & Industry

Edward of Caernarion, later Edward II, becomes the 1st Prince of Wales.

Monday February 7, 1301

Filed Under: → Miscellaneous

Events

Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

Thursday February 23, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths

A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

Saturday February 18, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths

The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

Monday September 4, 2006

Filed Under: → Deaths