EDITION #1305
This issue 5ยข
We're not new News, we're News Thats Used
Tomorrow is Tuesday December 10, 2019
This is day 343 of 2019
News Thats Used | Home

Aviation Jokes


At one of the packed, Delta ticket counters all of ticket agents were doing their best to politely process each passenger as quickly as they could. A man toward the end of the snaking line of passengers was obviously impatient and very frustrated at having to wait so long in the slow moving line.

He finally decided to march right up to the counter pulling his wheeled suitcase and demanded that he be given his boarding pass. The ticket agent turned, looked at him, blinked, took a shallow, deep breath and said, "Sir, as you can see there are many passengers ahead of you. We are doing our best to process the passengers as fast as we can. I'm afraid you'll have to get back in line".

Outraged and red in the face, the man yelled at the ticket agent saying, "Do you know who I am ...

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Fun Book Titles


  • March Into Battle
    - by Sally Forth

  • The Insurmountable Problem
    - by Major Setback

  • The Laser Weapon
    - by Ray Gunn

  • A Call for Assistance
    - by Linda Hand

  • Making the Least of Life
    - by Minnie Mumm

  • Good Question

    If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?

    Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

    How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

    How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

    How does Avon find so many women willing to take orders?


    Jokes

    What is a Budget?
    An orderly system for living beyond your means.

    There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Marsha Clark Barbie ...with a bad haircut and a bad attitude

    What do you call a pickled aardvark?
    A jarredvark!

    What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
    Antteneye!

    What do you call an aardvark that's just won a fight?
    A well aardvark!

    Good Question

    What will fall on the lawn first?
    An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?

    If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast on the back of a cat and dropped it?

    If a word in a dictionary were misspelled, would we know?

    How many weeks are there in a light year?

    If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?

    Good Question

    Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

    Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called ship-ment but when you transport something by ship its called cargo?

    If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

    If fire fighters fight fire and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?

    Does killing time damage eternity?

    Good Question

    Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn the radio down?

    If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

    You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

    Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

    Does killing time damage eternity?

    Good Question

    How many weeks are there in a light year?

    Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

    Do steam rollers really roll steam?

    If fire fighters fight fire and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?

    Does killing time damage eternity?

    Good Question

    If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

    Do steam rollers really roll steam?

    Does killing time damage eternity?

    Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

    Why does an inspiring sight like a sunrise always have to take place at such an inconvenient time?

    Good Question

    Why are there interstates in Hawaii?

    Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?

    Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called ship-ment but when you transport something by ship its called cargo?

    If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

    Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

    Good Question

    How long will a floating point operation float?

    Why, if the best things in life are free, the next-best things are so expensive?

    Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?

    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?


    What color is a chameleon on a mirror?

    Good Question

    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?


    Why are there interstates in Hawaii?

    Do fish get thirsty?

    How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?

    Is it OK to use my AM radio after NOON?

    Good Question

    If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?

    If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills?

    Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called ship-ment but when you transport something by ship its called cargo?

    Why, if the best things in life are free, the next-best things are so expensive?

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?