News Thats Used

Tuesday May 25, 2004

Even in death Irish comic genius Spike Milligan managed to have the last laugh. Two years after his death at his home in Sussex, England, the creator of "The Goon Show" has finally got the epitaph he wanted.

A headstone bearing the words "I told you I was ill" has been erected above his grave at St. Thomas's Church in Winchelsea, East Sussex. Sadly for more than two years after his death at the ...

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Each year there are more than 40,000 toilet related injuries in the United States.

Buttermilk does not contain any butter.

A volcano has enough power to shoot ash as high as 50 km into the atmosphere.

Quips

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Filed Under: Church Notices

The Vicar is on vacation. Massages can be given to the Church Secretary.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Fun Book Titles

My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
- by I. M. Nutty

How to Feed Elephants
- by P. Nutts

All Aboard!
- by Abel Seamann

Apologizing Made Simple
- by Thayer Thorry

Falling from a Window
- by Eileen Dowt

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Good Question

What will fall on the lawn first? An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?

If fire fighters fight fire and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes. Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same material?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

Richard Johnson is the 1st Vice President chosen by the United States Senate. It happened during the Van Buren administration.

Wednesday February 8, 1837

Filed Under: → Politics

John Ames Sherman of Massachusetts, United States, patents the 1st envelope folding and gumming machine.

Tuesday February 8, 1898

Filed Under: → Business & Industry

The 1st wireless message sent from a moving train to a station is received.

Sunday February 7, 1915

Filed Under: → Travel Section

Events

Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

Thursday February 23, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths

A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

Saturday February 18, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths

The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

Monday September 4, 2006

Filed Under: → Deaths