News Thats Used

Saturday November 1, 2003

It's a boy, no a girl - for Heather and Paul McCartney. Don't believe everything you read in the newspapers, especially Britain's Daily Mirror.

It got it spectacularly wrong when it announced the birth of a new baby for 61-year-old superstar Sir Paul McCartney's and his wife Heather Mills. Proudly revealing its world scoop, the front page banner headline screamed: "It's a boy! Exclusive - Macca ...

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Buttermilk does not contain any butter.

An earthquake on December 16, 1811 caused parts of the Mississippi River to flow backwards.

Each year there are more than 40,000 toilet related injuries in the United States.

Quips

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some of the older ones.

Filed Under: Church Notices

The Vicar is on vacation. Massages can be given to the Church Secretary.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Fun Book Titles

The Barber of Seville
- by Aaron Floor

How to Feed Elephants
- by P. Nutts

My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
- by I. M. Nutty

All Aboard!
- by Abel Seamann

Neck Exercises
- by G. Rarff

View More: Book Titles

Good Question

Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo. How come nobody will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

When a doctor doctors a doctor does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored, or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

New Jersey issues its 1st U.S. railroad charter. The proprietors included the famous inventor John Stevens.

Monday February 6, 1815

Filed Under: → Travel Section

Astronomical Society of Pacific holds its 1st meeting in San Francisco.

Thursday February 7, 1889

Filed Under: → Science

John Ames Sherman of Massachusetts, United States, patents the 1st envelope folding and gumming machine.

Tuesday February 8, 1898

Filed Under: → Business & Industry

Events

Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

Thursday February 23, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths

The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

Monday September 4, 2006

Filed Under: → Deaths

A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

Saturday February 18, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths