News Thats Used

Tuesday May 25, 2004

Even in death Irish comic genius Spike Milligan managed to have the last laugh. Two years after his death at his home in Sussex, England, the creator of "The Goon Show" has finally got the epitaph he wanted.

A headstone bearing the words "I told you I was ill" has been erected above his grave at St. Thomas's Church in Winchelsea, East Sussex. Sadly for more than two years after his death at the ...

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Before toilet paper was invented, French royalty wiped their bottoms with fine linen.

Buttermilk does not contain any butter.

A one ounce milk chocolate bar has 6 mg of caffeine.

Quips

The Minister unveiled the Church's new donations campaign on Sunday: "I upped my Pledge - Up Yours".

Filed Under: Church Notices

Thursday night is Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Sign seen at a Hair Salon: We curl up and dye for you.

Filed Under: Signs

Fun Book Titles

My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
- by I. M. Nutty

School Meals
- by R. E. Volting

The Barber of Seville
- by Aaron Floor

Apologizing Made Simple
- by Thayer Thorry

Peek-a-Boo!
- by I. C. Hugh

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Good Question

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

When a doctor doctors a doctor does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored, or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor?

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

"Stars & Stripes Weekly", the United States Armed Forces newspaper is first published.

Friday February 8, 1918

Filed Under: → War

Joe DiMaggio becomes the 1st $100,000 a year baseball player. He plays for the New York Yankees.

Monday February 7, 1949

Filed Under: → Sports

Jean-Bertrand Aristide is sworn in as Haiti's 1st elected President.

Thursday February 7, 1991

Filed Under: → Politics

Events

A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

Saturday February 18, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths

The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

Monday September 4, 2006

Filed Under: → Deaths

Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

Thursday February 23, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths